Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed

Ask Not reveals the deep and often tragic consequences of a culture that prioritizes male privilege, family image, and social status over the voices and autonomy of women. The Kennedy family’s legacy is marked by the systematic erasure and suppression of women’s experiences and voices, resulting in lives shaped by isolation, exploitation, and, in many cases, tragedy.

One of the clearest examples is the treatment of Joan Kennedy, whose marriage to Ted Kennedy was a testament to the emotional toll of silencing women. Despite Ted’s highly publicized affairs and his heavy drinking, Joan faced intense scrutiny and judgment from both the public and her husband. While Ted’s behavior was largely excused or ignored, Joan was criticized for her appearance and blamed for her own struggles with addiction, which Ted’s behavior exacerbated. When Joan attempted to seek psychiatric help and attend rehab, Ted reportedly criticized her, viewing her as an embarrassment rather than offering support. Her struggles became a convenient deflection for Ted, who positioned himself as a sympathetic figure dealing with a troubled wife, a narrative that obscured his own damaging actions. Joan’s moment of empowerment during Ted’s 1980 presidential campaign (when voters, particularly women, related to her more than to Ted) highlights the consequences of her long silence. When she did find her voice, it had the power to shift public opinion, but by then, her own life had been marked by years of silencing.

The tragic story of Rosemary Kennedy further illustrates the devastating effects of the family’s silencing of women. Born with cognitive disabilities, Rosemary was considered an embarrassment within a family fixated on perfection and achievement. Her father, Joseph Kennedy, Sr., ordered a lobotomy to “correct” her behavior without her consent, a decision that left her permanently disabled. The family effectively erased Rosemary from public memory, hiding her away in a care facility for the rest of her life. This act of silencing did not just rob Rosemary of her autonomy and future; it also exemplifies the patriarchal power that the Kennedys exerted over women in their family: A woman’s voice was valuable only if it conformed to the family’s expectations.

Mary Jo Kopechne’s death at Chappaquiddick underscores how the silencing of women protected powerful men at the expense of truth and justice. When Ted drove his car off a bridge, leaving Mary Jo trapped inside to die, he prioritized his own political survival over her life. Media coverage and Ted’s own narrative quickly shifted blame to Mary Jo, portraying her as reckless or complicit, despite evidence that she was likely innocent. Ted’s reluctance to immediately contact authorities and his shifting accounts of the accident reveal a calculated effort to protect his image, effectively silencing Mary Jo’s voice by framing her as a casualty of her own supposed irresponsibility. The Kennedy family’s influence over the media allowed Ted to avoid serious consequences, while Mary Jo’s parents, deprived of any real answers, grieved in silence.

Marilyn Monroe’s alleged relationships with John and Bobby Kennedy similarly highlight the toll of women’s silencing in the Kennedy orbit. Allegedly drawn into an affair with John and later with Bobby, Marilyn was discarded once she became inconvenient. The sense of abandonment that she felt after being used and then cut off from the Kennedys exacerbated her downward spiral and eventual death. Her reported attempts to expose the truth, coupled with rumors of missing diary entries and altered phone records, suggest that the Kennedys actively silenced her voice to protect their reputations and power. Marilyn’s tragic end, like that of many other women connected to the Kennedys, revealed the brutal consequences of a system that values loyalty to power over truth or justice.

Through these stories, Ask Not examines how the rewards of silencing women (protection of reputation, political advantage, and preservation of male privilege) have a steep price, often involving irrevocable damage to the lives and legacies of the women involved. The Kennedy family’s systematic silencing of women not only illustrates the personal costs of such erasure but also serves as a broader critique of how patriarchal systems exploit and marginalize women for the benefit of powerful men.