An Anonymous Girl: A Novel

A week before Christmas, Jessica meets with Dr. Shields to tell her what happened when she met Thomas. Jessica lies and says things went according to Dr. Shields’s plan, revealing nothing about already knowing Thomas. Dr. Shields directs Jessica to text Thomas and set up a date, but Thomas doesn’t reply because Jessica only pretends to send it. Dr. Shields notices that Jessica seems agitated compared to usual but doesn’t comment on it. She tries to get Jessica to cancel her upcoming makeup appointment, but Jessica refuses and leaves.

Jessica gets two blocks away from Dr. Shields’s house and calls Thomas, who immediately asks her how she knows his wife. Jessica is taken aback, as it occurs to her that Dr. Shields may have created an elaborate setup involving her own husband. Doubt soon takes over, and she wonders if Dr. Shields is testing her loyalty. Unsure whether Dr. Shields or Thomas is the one lying, Jessica doesn’t know what to do. Thomas tells her that Dr. Shields “preys” on young girls, which reminds Jessica of the falcon sculpture she was tasked with retrieving weeks before. Suddenly, Dr. Shields appears and tells Jessica she forgot her lip balm. Jessica doesn’t understand why Dr. Shields came all that way for lip balm, and all she can say is “thank you.”

Dr. Shields receives an unexpected visit from Thomas, who is holding a bouquet of flowers and proclaims to be there just to visit and express his love for his wife. Dr. Shields invites him in and offers him coffee, which he declines at first. Thomas offers to put the flowers in the library, clearly trying to get a moment alone, and asks for the coffee only to distract Dr. Shields. He tells her that he loves her, which makes Dr. Shields happy, and she seems to fall for the ploy. Thomas then leaves as suddenly as he appeared.

Dr. Shields texts Jessica asking about Thomas, but she ignores the message. Jessica gets a message from Thomas as well, asking to meet that night, but she doesn’t reply. She goes to the apartment of Dr. Shields’s assistant, Ben, to find out more information about Dr. Shields. He isn’t there, so she leaves a note. Instead, she schedules a date with Noah. Jessica enjoys the break from everything and realizes with relief that she hasn’t told Dr. Shields about Noah, despite telling her almost everything else about her life. Jessica asks Noah how a person can know whether to trust someone else, and he replies, “If you need to ask that question, then you probably already know the answer” (232). Later that night, Jessica gets another text from Thomas, who includes a photograph of him and Dr. Shields at their wedding—proof that he is telling the truth.

Dr. Shields feels threatened by Jessica’s attempts to distance herself. Jessica replies to Dr. Shields’s call by text, telling her she isn’t feeling well and nothing more. Dr. Shields also wonders what Thomas is doing and starts to suspect that he and Jessica are together. Dr. Shields goes to Jessica’s apartment with some chicken soup and sneaks inside the building. Jessica appears not to be home, so Dr. Shields leaves the soup at the door, referring to it as a “warning shot,” much like the falcon she gifted Thomas. Dr. Shields believes that because she has paid Jessica, provided free therapy and gifts, and coddled her emotions, Jessica now belongs to her.

Jessica waits at Starbucks for Ben, who eventually arrives and says he only has 10 minutes to spare. He seems nervous and eager to leave, so Jessica immediately reminds him that she is one of Dr. Shields’s subjects. Ben states that he was terminated from his position when the study ended. Jessica is under the impression that the study is still taking place, with her as its central subject; hearing that it has ended adds more confusion. Ben tells Jessica to find the file with her subject information in it but refuses to say more. When Jessica gets home, she finds the soup in front of her door and knows it was Dr. Shields who left it.

Dr. Shields gets home and finds Thomas in her townhouse making dinner. It is clear he has been preparing for a while and could not have been with Jessica; at the same time, Dr. Shields feels violated by his turning up unannounced and coming into her home. Thomas seems on edge but tries to act normal, and Dr. Shields coolly but casually welcomes him. She soon receives a call from Jessica, who tells her that she and Thomas plan to meet up sometime in the near future.

Jessica waits for Thomas at a conservatory garden and thinks about the things she now knows Dr. Shields has lied about, including them being friends and the fact that the study ended weeks ago. She wants to know why Dr. Shields has been using her and plans to find out as much as she can from Thomas. Thomas arrives and seems agitated as usual, constantly looking around to see if anyone is watching. He asks Jessica how she knows Dr. Shields and whether she’s part of her study, and Jessica assures Thomas she never knew he was Dr. Shields’s husband until the day at the diner. Thomas likewise assures Jessica that he isn’t interested in Dr. Shields but feels like he has no choice but to appease her. When Jessica asks about Thomas’s warning, he leads her deep into the gardens, to a fountain, and tells her about Subject 5, the woman who died by suicide after working with Dr. Shields. Dr. Shields seemed to take her in as a sister: inviting her in, giving her gifts, and relying on her presence. Subject 5, Thomas says, ended her life right in the garden that he and Jessica stand in.

Dr. Shields sits in frustration and anger, feeling certain that Jessica is lying to her about Thomas and possibly more. She hopes that Jessica is on edge as well and implies that it would be easy for anyone to sneak into her apartment. Dr. Shields feels she has power over Jessica because of everything she knows about her, but now Jessica seems to be reprioritizing, and Dr. Shields feels threatened. She opens Jessica’s file and stares at pictures from Jessica’s Instagram page, including ones of her family, and remarks on how much they appear to need a vacation.

Thomas tells Jessica to act normal until they figure out a way to get her out of the situation, and Jessica still can’t believe that Dr. Shields drove someone to suicide and could do the same to her. She gets home, and her anxiety is slowly replaced by anger. The next morning, Jessica resolves to quit working with Dr. Shields. She goes to her house with a plan to announce this to her and almost manages to do so by making the excuse that she has to go home and spend time with her family. When her mother calls, Dr. Shields tells Jessica to answer it, and Jessica’s mother excitedly announces that the family will be going to Florida after all, as Jessica’s boss paid for their trip. Sadly, the trip was for three, and Jessica won’t be included. When Jessica gets off the phone, Dr. Shields tells her she will be needed over the holidays and hands Jessica her next large check.

Dr. Shields sits in her home thinking about how much Jessica reminds her of Subject 5, April. Dr. Shields recalls April’s unpredictable moods and how a particularly intense argument resulted in her suicide the same night. Dr. Shields considers this one of the most pivotal moments of her life, which shaped the course it took from then on; it affected her marriage and eventually led her to Jessica, whom she now considers essential. Dr. Shields plans to have Jessica all to herself over the holidays while both her family and friends are away and occupied.

Jessica calls Thomas in a panic and demands to meet to figure out a plan, but he tells her it will have to wait until tomorrow because he’s on his way to see Dr. Shields and meet with their divorce lawyer. Jessica follows Dr. Shields to where she is meeting Thomas and notices how excited he seems to be to see his wife as he kisses her and takes her hand. They walk into a restaurant, not an office, and Jessica is certain that neither of them can be trusted.