An Absolutely Remarkable Thing

Andy starts recording with the words “‘K, I’m rolling” (13). April says that anyone who is human and has internet connection has heard Andy say those words. “New York Carl” is the most viewed piece of media of all time: it has been watched by 94 percent of living humans and viewed more times than there are humans on Earth.

In the video, April is a mess. She has been awake for 22 hours and looks unkempt. Light is glaring in her eyes, her teeth shine in the LED light, and her voice is croaky. April introduces herself, her location, and the presence of an unannounced and peculiar visitor. She claims he is an ancient, unknown warrior guarding the Chipotle. She jokes about how his icy stare is somehow comforting, like even this 10-foot-tall metal warrior doesn’t have his life figured out. She goes on to introduce the statue as Carl and says hello, putting the microphone to him. When Carl says nothing, April says he is a robot of few words whose appearance speaks volumes. She describes Carl’s physical properties, then asks what New Yorkers think he is and whether the city that never sleeps is too cool to notice the “most peculiar and astounding occurrences” (14). All the while, April thinks about the artist and tries to get into their head to figure out why they created Carl. In hindsight, April finds her attempts hilarious.

In the next scene, April pretends to interview Andy, who confirms Carl’s abnormal existence and admits that Carl terrifies him. In the final scene, April addresses the viewers, stating that a “giant, stately, terrifying, slight warm robot man has arrived in New York City and, through his inaction, has somehow become only interesting enough for a one-minute long video” (15). After recording, Andy tells April that it is fantastic. They talk about work and life while taking a few close-up shots. Andy admits it has been super weird and thanks April for making a robot video with him. April tells Andy she will impale him on Carl if he calls her before noon. Reflecting on that night, April admits that was probably the best night’s sleep of her life until she dies. 

The next day, April wakes up at 2 P.M. Maya enters the room with a cup of coffee, which April only drinks on bad days. The robot thing has gotten weird, and Maya asks why April gave him that stupid name. Andy is freaking out and has been calling all day. There are five pages of unread emails in April’s inbox. In the emails, Andy gives April a rundown of the day’s events. There are at least 60 Carls, one in every major city on Earth. Though people are sharing them on social media, only the video Andy and April made has gone viral—it already has one million views, and people are now calling the statues “Carls.” They need to figure out how to split the money and ownership of his YouTube channel for future videos about Carl(s), and his dad, a Hollywood lawyer, would like to represent them when they sue major networks for using their video. There are also emails from entertainment managers, agents, and people both appreciating and critiquing her. April reflects on social media and how “the power that each of us has over complete strangers to make them feel terrible and frightened and weak is amazing” (22).

One important email is from Miranda Beckwith, a graduate student in material science at UC Berkeley who is fascinated with Carl’s physical properties because it is unusual for something metal to be warm in New York winter. April replies to Miranda, explaining that Carl feels like hard, smooth Styrofoam and that knocking on him is like knocking on a painted brick wall.

When April calls her parents, they are a little stressed. Her older, successful brother Tom is getting married in a few months. April clarifies that though she was an unhappy child, her parents have always been supportive without expectations. April then calls Andy, who sounds unstable. They already have three million views, and things are getting weirder. There is no surveillance footage of when Carl was installed. At exactly 2:43 A.M., cameras black out for five minutes, play an undertone static of the song “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen, and turn back on with each Carl present at the exact same time. Major networks want to interview April so that she doesn’t sue them for showing her video. Though April believes it has nothing to do with them because they only found one of 60 Carls, Andy’s dad cites narrative, memetic diffusion, and cultural mythology to get them a $10,000 licensing deal for every interview. Though she doesn’t know what to say on TV, April hesitantly agrees.

April and Maya research Carl for hours and end up on the Wikipedia page for the song “Don’t Stop Me Now.” They find a typo and fix it, only to find another typo after reloading the page. They continue fixing typos and find that the missing letters are I, A, M, and U. Though April is bent on solving this mystery, Maya insists that she prepares for her interview on national TV in an hour. Maya laughs at the fact that April hates when money makes her do things, reassuring her that it is normal to do something scary for such a large sum. Maya tells her that being scared to go on TV is also normal and that she should do it because it is a strange, fascinating experience they can discuss.