American Panda

Mei’s paternal grandmother, Nainai, and Aunt Yilong visit for the death anniversary of Mei’s grandfather, Yeye. Yilong gifts Mei an oversized dress that she hates but is forced to wear out of respect. They go to Chow Chow, where Mrs. Pan again tries to matchmake Mei with Hanwei, but Mama Lu claims that Mei is already betrothed to Eugene; Nainai and Yilong approve. As they praise Mei for her future career, Nainai and Yilong compare Mei to her mother and criticize Mama Lu for being unemployed and unsuccessful. Mei tries to defend her mother by explaining that she dropped out of graduate school to care for her children, but they scold Mei and Mama Lu for Mei’s disobedience. Suddenly, Nainai’s dementia causes her to mistake Mei for a younger Mama Lu, and Nainai demands that she not be spoken to until Mama Lu gives birth to a son. This shocks Mei because it reveals how Mama Lu’s in-laws treated her in the past. Mr. Lu reminds Nainai that Mei is her grandchild, and Nainai recovers.

Mei’s brother, Xing, then coincidentally arrives at the restaurant with his fiancée, Esther. Xing has been disowned by his parents because Esther is unable to bear a child. It has been four years since Mei last saw her brother. She misses him but has been forced to shun him as her family has. Mei’s family warns Xing that if he marries Esther, there will be no chance of reconciling. Xing angrily defends his fiancée, and Nainai falls to the floor in shock as Xing and Esther leave. Mei feels guilty and confused for not defending her brother.

At home, the family worships at their homemade altar to honor Yeye. Mei remembers when Xing used to take part in the ritual before he was disowned. Mr. Lu reminds Mei that she must study hard to not end up like Xing, a fate Mei is afraid of. That night, Nainai wakes Mei to remind her to be obedient. She tells Mei that her father was a naughty child but learned to be respectful through physical punishment, and Mei feels sorry for her father. Mei admires Nainai for her strength and courage, but she realizes that they have different values.

Back at Mei’s dorm, Mama Lu cleans Mei’s room to avoid spending more time with Nainai and Yilong. Mei has hidden her dancing shoes but still worries about being caught. When Mama Lu finds a condom wrapper, she panics and accuses Mei of being like Ying-Na. Mei explains that the wrapper belongs to Nicolette and worries about sex-related bacteria in her dorm. Her mother silently judges her for using hand sanitizer; she doesn’t acknowledge Mei’s fear of germs, but Mei still feels ashamed. Mama Lu tells her to remain abstinent because Eugene will not want her unless she is a virgin. She also tells Mei that although she appreciates Mei defending her to Nainai and Yilong, Mei must always respect Nainai as the matriarch of the family. Mama Lu reminds Mei that she must marry a Taiwanese man who understands her values and traditions. When Mei asks why she must become a doctor, Mama Lu tells her that she must not end up unsuccessful and unemployed like herself. Mama Lu is ashamed about having dropped out of school and explains that this is why she pushes Mei so hard. Mei wishes that her parents were more affectionate but understands that they only want the best for her.

Nicolette asks Mei why her parents are so involved in her life and suggests being more independent, but Mei angrily tells her that she doesn’t understand her situation. Later, Mei takes a bus to Dartmouth to visit her childhood friend Helen, who is also Taiwanese American. On the bus, Mei reflects that this is her first solo adventure without her parents; she feels proud but nervous. Her seatmate, Jenn, also goes to MIT and is visiting her girlfriend at Dartmouth. She tells Mei that her parents disowned her after she came out as a lesbian. Mei feels connected to Jenn because of her own difficult relationship with her parents and starts to recognize that parents can be wrong.

At Dartmouth, Helen is friendly and introduces Mei to people on campus. Mei is jealous because Helen’s parents aren’t as overbearing as hers. She realizes that Chinese culture doesn’t have to be so restrictive and that her parents’ behavior is a choice. Mei was hoping that Helen could help her understand her ongoing identity crisis, but she realizes that they are too different—Helen doesn’t see her culture as a hindrance.

Back at MIT, Mei encounters Darren again. He and his friends Penny and Billy are going to skate at the ice rink, and they invite Mei to join. Mei tries to decline, but she accepts after Darren expresses disappointment. Darren is impressed when Mei tells him that she is a dancer. Mei struggles on the ice, but Darren helps her skate, and she enjoys their closeness despite feeling guilty. After skating, they head to a lecture hall for a movie showing by the Lecture Series Committee. It’s MIT tradition for the crowd to yell at the projector, which confuses Mei, but she is glad to be on the “inside” of a campus tradition.

When Darren puts his arm around Mei, she panics and runs out of the room. After he follows her, she tries to explain her complicated family situation. Darren suggests that she focus on what she wants, but Mei claims that it doesn’t matter. He explains that he feels pressure from his parents, too, because he grew up in poverty; his family is relying on his success even though they don’t approve of him leaving Southern California for Massachusetts. Mei explains that obeying her parents is culturally expected and required. When Darren calls this absurd, Mei lashes out. Darren accuses Mei of being brainwashed, and she runs away. In her room, Mei cries, believing that no one can understand what she’s feeling. Desperate, she calls Xing and asks to meet with him secretly. He is hesitant but agrees.