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Robin HaA modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Stories can provide those who consume them with a sense of belonging, familiarity, or even vicarious experience. Robin initially views the stories and characters in her comics both as a source of comfort and as an avenue for experiencing things vicariously. After she moves to the United States, her comics become a correlative for her own experience, providing her with a source of identification. Eventually, they become the vehicle that allows her to form deeper social connections in the United States.
Even though Robin feels more at home in Korea than the United States, her physical attributes differentiate her from most of her peers. She has “frizzy curly hair” and is “five feet six inches by eighth grade, yet […] flat chested” (3). Her primary hobby is reading Korean romance and fantasy comics. These comics provide her with a more glamorous alternative to real-life romance: “Unlike the dashing heroes in comics, real boys were weird and covered in zits” (3). Certain aspects of the real world are less exciting to her than their fictional alternatives, so Robin experiences things like romance vicariously through stories.
When she moves to the United States, all of Robin’s things, including her stories, are left behind. In their absence, she identifies with the characters in a new way. As Robin sits in her first English-language math class, not understanding anything the teacher is saying, she thinks about the comic Queen’s Quest, where “The heroine, Princess Eshika, was cursed and cast out of her kingdom by an evil witch. She had to find a way to break the curse and return to her homeland” (63). The plot of the story parallels Robin’s experience, uprooted and thrust into a new land by her mother and desperate to return to Korea.
It is this deep identification with these comic characters that eventually helps Robin settle into her new home. When she receives a box of her favorite comics from her mother’s old salon assistant and puts them up in her room, the space suddenly “feels like [her] own” (106). In Robin’s imagination, Princess Eshika tells her: “As long as you need us, we’ll aways be with you” (107). Princess Eshika eventually helps Robin make her first American best friend, Jessica. Robin draws Princess Eshika and shows her to her peers in the first comic class she attends. After class, Jessica approaches her and asks if she is Japanese, since she drew manga for the class. Robin says that she is Korean but loves both Japanese and Korean comics.
Robin later learns that Jessica is part Japanese, speaks fluent Japanese, and is a fan of many of the same comics that Robin is. Due to their similar taste in stories and love of art and comics, Robin finds that with Jessica, she had “so many things to talk about” that an “hour of class never seemed like enough for us” (169-70). They begin to spend more time together outside class; consequently, Robin becomes better at English, more self-confident, and more secure in her new home and identity.
Princess Eshika and her story were there for Robin to rely on and eventually helped her make a friend with common interests and grow more confident in herself, just like she promised Robin in her imagination.
As Robin and her mother move between Korea and the United States, they find that no country is entirely free of prejudice and the social norms that enable it. While Robin initially believes that Korea is more hospitable and her mother believes that the United States is more hospitable, both come to realize that each of these countries has a nuanced society with systems of prejudice that are not visible at first glance.
The Power of Stories in Shaping Identity affects Robin’s mother’s perception of prejudice in both Korea and the United States. Korean media portrays single mothers as “evil mistresses or helpless victims” (150). These media representations perpetuate prejudice against single women in larger Korean society. When Robin’s mother opens her new salon, the people celebrating question how she got the money to upgrade and conclude that “she must be some rich guy’s mistress” (151). They come to false conclusions about her based on prejudicial media representations. She thinks that the United States will be free of the prejudices she experiences in Korea.
The sacrifices Robin’s mother must make to get to America temporarily mire her in the same type of prejudicial social structures she experienced in Korea. Mr. Kim’s traditional family criticizes her independent personality and acts as if she should be grateful to them for giving a single mother a “chance.” Robin’s mom thinks about how she left her home so she “wouldn’t have to deal with this kind of crap” (128) but is experiencing it anew. No culture can be generalized in real life based on how it is portrayed in media. For instance, moving into a diasporic house or neighborhood might result in people maintaining the social norms of their ancestral homes to varying degrees.
The way Robin and her mother experience cultural prejudices differs. At school, Robin is exposed to racial prejudice that is different than the gendered prejudice her mother experiences with their stepfamily. A boy named Bryan bumps into Robin, uses mocking racist language toward her, and makes a racist facial expression. Robin wonders, “why is he doing that to his eyes” (65). Only later does she realize “this was [her] first encounter with racism” (65), even though she knew since childhood that “people pick on others just for being different” (70). As a child, she noticed how people treated her and her mother. She was coached by her mother to pretend that her mother had a husband to seem more “normal.” In America, she also thinks she must “look normal” to fit in, but she does not know what normal is. Eventually, with the help of comics and increased self-confidence, Robin realizes she does not need to assimilate and that the prejudices of other people are not because of her actions.
It is only when Robin goes back to Korea as an adult that she realizes the full extent of the types of prejudice her mother was leaving behind, both for her own sake and for Robin’s future. Robin reunites with her middle-school friends and realizes they now have different perspectives on the world. Her old friends prioritize getting married and having children before they turn 30. They plan what types of husbands they “have to marry” based on who their fathers will accept (221). Even Robin’s Korean friends from the United States “would fit themselves into this mold when they visited Korea” (223). Her friend Soyoung gets a nose job in Seoul to better her job prospects because job recruiters would filter candidates based on looks. Robin rebels against the types of social norms her Korean friends follow. In turn, they tell her that they can easily tell she is from America because of how “wild” she is. These experiences make Robin feel like “an alien in my birth country” (227). Like her mother, she does not fit into the patriarchal social model in Korea.
In Korea, Robin’s mother and later Robin herself experience gendered prejudices that dictate how women should act in public and private life and the consequences if they refuse. In the United States, they experience prejudices that are both similar and dissimilar to this. Social norms and types of prejudice across cultures are thus varied and nuanced.
Robin and her mother have extreme differences in how they process emotions and social interactions, which leads to strife and stress in their relationship. Through it all, they have a commitment and love for each other that outlasts the tension that develops over the course of their experiences.
A source of conflict in the memoir is rooted in the gulf between Robin and her mother’s understanding of Korea. Robin’s mother grew up in a traditional Korean household but her personal ethics vary greatly from her parents’ values. Robin’s mother acts the way she does due to her individual history. Her parents did not “approve” of her having certain hobbies, like piano, because they didn’t “have the money” for a “girl” to pursue those things (129). Experiencing cultural prejudices as a young child can make someone internalize them or push back against them. Robin’s mother does the latter, deciding, “When I have a daughter, I will never deny her anything!” (129). This history shapes Robin’s mother’s entire approach to raising Robin. While she decides to move them away from Korea partially for her own benefit, she also moves for Robin’s sake. She does not want Robin to grow up in a society that stigmatizes her family and wants her to act demurely toward men.
Robin is too young to understand this second motivation; she only sees the first. She tells her mother, “You always force me to do what you want. You never listen to me!” (135). Robin’s mother can sometimes become so focused on doing what she thinks is best for their family in the long term that she ignores Robin’s feelings in the short term. Robin’s mother deals with adverse circumstances by showing no “hint of fear or weakness” (201). Conversely, Robin is emotional and tearful. Even though she does not “cry half the time that [she] want[s] to” (134), her emotions often spill over. The two women cope with the stressors they face in ways that seem like either weakness or heartlessness to the other. These differences create stress within their relationship.
Learning to understand the differences between them that cause stress in their relationship is also what strengthens their relationship. After observing Robin’s struggles to emotionally cope with two large moves and bullying and ostracization at school, her mother apologizes to her for the first time in Robin’s life rather than telling her to stop being “wimpy.” This acknowledgment of Robin’s feelings and struggles is the trigger for Robin’s own understanding of her mother’s perspective. She feels “guilt for making this situation harder for her than it already was” (200) and decides to “stop acting like a selfish child” (201). She recognizes what her mother does for her and decides to be “strong” for her. They each develop empathy for the other and try to behave in a way that acknowledges the other’s style of emotional processing: Robin’s mother apologizes while Robin decides to be “strong.”
Mother/daughter relationships can be stressful when both parties bring pre-conceived notions of how the other should act into the relationship. This can create misunderstandings and tension. However, Robin and her mother’s relationship ultimately shows how people can work through these tensions and develop empathy.
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