Almost American Girl

Robin’s mother is a secondary main character who drives most of the conflict in the narrative. Sections of her history that inform the present narrative are depicted in flashback panels that are less vibrant and more sepia-toned. Robin’s mother raises Robin as a single parent, which earns her scorn and judgment from Robin’s teachers and the parents of her peers in Seoul. Her mother’s decisions sometimes cause Robin distress and frustration. Robin thinks that her mother is foisting the life she wishes she had on Robin, when actually her mother wants to provide Robin with a life free from the type of judgment she has faced.

Robin’s mother’s parents were traditional and did not have money to spare for non-essential things. When she was a girl and wanted piano lessons, her father tells her, “Don’t be silly. We don’t have the money to send a girl to piano lessons” (129). His words implied that they might have spared the money for a son, but not a daughter. In response, Robin’s mother says, “When I have a daughter, I will never deny her anything!” (129). Robin’s mother wants to break the cycle of how daughters are treated, the luxuries they are denied, and the judgment they face based on their gender.

Robin’s schoolmates’ parents gossip about how her mother is single and whether she had Robin “outside of marriage” (74). As Robin gets older, she sees that single mothers on Korean television shows are portrayed as either “evil mistresses or helpless victims” (150). When Robin’s mother upgrades her salon, people wonder how she got the money and assume “she must be some rich guy’s mistress” (151). Social mores make that option more plausible than the idea that a single mother could have provided for herself.

Robin’s mother’s parents died when she was a teenager, and she was ostracized from the rest of her family after having Robin. They told her, “You’re a bad example to my children” (150). A panel depicts a toddler-aged Robin and her mother walking away from the rest of their family, accompanied by the note that “In Korea, it is common for single mothers to be disowned by their families” (150). These traditional social mores mean Robin’s mother cannot live her life how she wants to without facing prejudice from those around her.

When Robin’s mother sees American movies, she sees a society where people are free to live as they wish without judgment. She decides that “Whatever America is like, it’ll be better than raising [Robin] here” (154). While Robin’s main stress in the United States stems from how unlike Korea it is, her mother’s main stress stems from how like Korea it is. She left her home country to “run far away from her past,” but soon “realized she was doomed to repeat it" (138). Though they have lived in the United States for decades, her new husband Mr. Kim’s family abides by traditional values. They come to her house daily, comment on Robin’s clothes and her mother’s cooking, and scold her for not going with Mr. Kim to LA to look for work. Robin’s mother thinks, “I left Korea so I wouldn’t have to deal with this kind of crap!” (128). What bothers her most is how “docile” her new sister-in-law is, and how her new brother-in-law and mother-in-law order her around and take advantage of her. Her decision toward the end of the memoir to leave with Robin for Virginia finally gives her the independence she craves.

Though Robin gets frustrated by how her mother moves them around the world without asking her opinion, she eventually grows to understand that she did so to give her an independence and autonomy she would not have experienced if they had stayed at home.