All My Rage

Salahudin is a first-generation American whose parents immigrated to the US from Pakistan before he was born. He grew up at the Clouds’ Rest Inn Motel, which his parents purchased as their business when they came to America. Salahudin faces several struggles throughout the novel, including his initial fight with Noor, the loss of Ama, a father with an alcohol addiction, and the pile of bills he must find a way to pay to avoid losing the motel his mother loved. Salahudin tends to keep his feelings concealed rather than being open about his emotions. He used to journal to process his life’s circumstances but struggles to write after Ama’s death.

Even though Salahudin pushed Noor away when she confessed her feelings for him and tried to kiss him, Tahir hints that Salahudin is attracted to her. He notices details about her, like her hair and the scent of soap she uses, and his feelings for her grow throughout the novel. Tahir also creates a building sense of mystery surrounding Salahudin’s past. He can’t stand to be touched by others, especially when the touch takes him by surprise, but he doesn’t understand why he is this way. He also has a panic response to the motel’s laundry room that he cannot explain.

Throughout the novel, Salahudin gradually confronts the truth that some kind of trauma from his past has made him this way, and the reader learns that he was assaulted (presumably sexually, although this isn’t specified) in the motel laundry room as a toddler. When given a chance to learn about his past from his pediatrician, Dr. Ellis, Salahudin chooses not to learn the details; he does not want to be defined by what happened to him. Making this decision gives Salahudin a great deal of freedom and is an important step on his journey toward healing and forgiveness of Ama and himself.

Salahudin suffers from a tremendous amount of guilt. He wishes he would have done more to save Ama, feels guilty for missing the signs that Noor was being abused, and regrets his choice to start selling drugs, especially when it leads to Ashlee’s overdose and Noor’s arrest. Salahudin’s guilt keeps him from visiting Ama’s grave because he feels Ama would be disappointed in him. Ironically, when Salahudin is proclaimed guilty by the court, he finally feels at peace with himself. He starts to free himself from guilt by making the right choices: owning up to his mistakes, taking responsibility for them, and learning from them.

Even though Salahudin makes some poor choices, he cares about others, and his motivation is often others-focused. Although his life has been full of challenges, he does not use this as an excuse for his behavior and does all he can to make things right with those he hurts. 

Misbah is Toufiq’s wife and Salahudin’s mother, who he calls Ama. She is also like a mom to Noor, who calls her Auntie Misbah. She takes responsibility for running the Clouds’ Rest Inn Motel and loves it like her third child, fulfilling the fortune teller’s prediction. She immigrated to the US from Pakistan with Toufiq before Salahudin was born, and the motel represents her American dream.

Misbah has a strong Muslim faith and often talks about her belief in God with Noor and Salahudin. Misbah is already facing the challenges of financial strain and Toufiq’s drinking problem when her health starts to fail. She waits a while to go to the doctor, and by the time she is diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, the illness has progressed considerably. Misbah needs dialysis and, ideally, a kidney transplant but knows the family has no money for medical treatment. She keeps her illness from Toufiq for as long as possible because she doesn’t want his alcohol use to worsen. As her physical condition deteriorates, she maintains a brave face and keeps the motel afloat despite the growing unpaid bills. She passes away early in the novel, but the chapters narrated from her point of view provide background information about her life and keep her character central to the plot for the duration of the novel.

From Misbah’s flashbacks, the reader learns that Misbah suspected Riaz of abusing Noor but didn’t know what to do to help her. She feels guilt for her inaction and cannot rest after her death until she receives forgiveness from Noor. Misbah’s narration also reveals her struggle with what to do to help Salahudin after he was assaulted at a young age and her decision to withhold the truth of what happened from him. She does not want her son to be defined by the assault.

Misbah is loving and motherly yet imperfect. Many of her decisions are hard to understand, and Salahudin struggles after her death with anger at her for not taking care of her health or forcing Abu to change. However, the glimpses Tahir provides of Misbah’s past help the reader and Salahudin sympathize with her perspective and see the circumstances and inner struggles that informed her decisions.

Riaz is Noor’s uncle, whom she calls “Chachu,” the Urdu word for father’s brother. He owns and runs a liquor store but had been on track to become an engineer as a young man. He left his internship and dropped out of school to raise Noor. While his sacrifice seems noble on the surface, Chachu clearly blames Noor for his lot in life. Noor constantly reminds herself of what he did for her: He came to Pakistan after an earthquake hit her village and dug through the rubble to rescue her. Every day since, he has blamed her for the shift she caused in his life and mourned that she became his responsibility. He didn’t save Noor out of kindness or love but out of obligation.

Chachu is married to a woman named Brooke, but their marriage is not particularly loving or healthy. He constantly reminds Noor that she won’t be attending college since he needs her to run the liquor store. He chooses himself over Noor; he will return to school while she runs the business. All of Chachu’s actions show him to be selfish and cruel. Tahir builds suspense surrounding Noor’s relationship with her uncle and eventually reveals that Chachu has been abusing Noor since she was young. He has also manipulated Noor to make it difficult for her to tell someone about the abuse. In Noor’s mind, he is both her savior and her enemy.

Another of Riaz’s defining characteristics is his hatred of anything related to Pakistani culture. He says religion is a waste of time, only eats American foods, speaks only English, and doesn’t celebrate Islamic or Pakistani holidays. He tries to control Noor by forbidding her from doing these things, although she finds ways to hide them from him. Chachu does not give Noor the opportunity to choose for herself and cuts her off from her culture.

Riaz lets his anger at the unplanned shift in his life consume him. His American dream failed because of circumstances outside of his control, and he irrationally blames Noor for this. Since he can’t control his own life, he seeks to control Noor’s as much as possible, using his fists to keep her under his power.

Toufiq is Salahudin’s father, whom he calls Abu. He has an alcohol addiction, so he is not there for Salahudin or Misbah and does not provide for his family. Through Misbah’s flashbacks and a few memories that Toufiq shares, the reader sees the many tragedies and losses Toufiq has endured. His mother had a drinking problem when he was growing up, and he lost his parents to an electrical accident shortly after he and Misbah were married. When he was young, he lost his cousin to tetanus. Finally, he could not prevent the assault on Salahudin and could not save Ama from kidney disease. Toufiq feels tremendous guilt that he couldn’t keep anyone he loved safe. All of these events explain why Toufiq turns to alcohol to forget the pain and guilt of the past.

Salahudin and Misbah’s memories of Toufiq show that he was a good father and provider before he turned to alcohol. Throughout the novel, Toufiq tries and fails several times to get sober. However, Salahudin’s arrest acts as a wake-up call for Toufiq. He reconnects with his Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor, Janice, and shows signs of improvement, like taking responsibility for the motel. Toufiq shows the ravages that addiction can cause and demonstrates that alcohol does not provide healing. At the same time, Toufiq’s life story shows why a person might turn to alcohol. Although the tragedies in Toufiq’s life do not justify his choices, they allow the reader to sympathize with him.

Imam Shafiq is the religious leader at the local mosque in Juniper. He is caring, kind, and a good listener. He was born in the United States but has strong connections to Pakistani culture. Noor is jealous of the places in Pakistan he has visited and the cultural experiences he has had. He is married to Khadija, and Noor’s observations of the marriage reveal that it is healthy and honest. Shafiq learns from Misbah that Noor may be abused by her uncle, and he asks Salahudin if Riaz has ever hit Noor before. This question is what makes Salahudin realize for the first time that Chachu abuses Noor.

Shafiq provides a sense of community and support for both Noor and Salahudin. He and Khadija take Noor into their home after learning that Riaz is abusive, and they create a sense of family for her by welcoming her into their daily routines, like cooking Pakistani meals and watching Crown of Fates. Shafiq also visits Salahudin and Toufiq after Ama’s death and reconnects Toufiq with his sponsor from Alcoholics Anonymous. Imam Shafiq offers protection, wisdom, and support for Noor and Salahudin in some of their darkest moments. He represents the positive impact that mentors and a religious community can have on one’s life.

Khadija is Imam Shafiq’s wife and an attorney. She steps in as Noor’s defense attorney as soon as Noor is arrested. Although Khadija is not a religious leader in the community, she cares for people just as deeply as her husband does. She is a friend and advisor for Noor leading up to the trial and helps Noor fight for her future by calling the dean of admissions at UCLA when Noor learns she has been admitted to the school after the acceptance deadline. Even though her work keeps her busy, Khadija makes time to love and serve others. She and Shafiq are a supportive community and makeshift family for Noor when she needs them most. 

Jamie is Noor’s classmate and views Noor as her academic competitor. Both girls are good students, but Jamie constantly wants to know whether she’s beaten Noor’s grades on assignments and tests and pesters Noor about which colleges she’s heard back from. As the novel develops, Jamie becomes increasingly vindictive and cruel to Noor, transitioning from veiled discriminatory comments to blatant racist diatribes. Jamie’s judgments of Noor are untrue; she makes assumptions without listening to Noor or getting to know her. Finally, Jamie attacks Noor where she knows it will hurt the most by revealing in front of Chachu that Noor applied to college and that she’s been suspended from school. This information is the catalyst for Chachu’s particularly violent abuse of Noor.

Art is Ashlee’s cousin and the Juniper High School drug dealer. He convinces Salahudin to start selling drugs to make money and supplies the drugs Sal sells. Unlike Salahudin, however, Art does not need the money he makes from dealing since his family is wealthy in comparison with Salahudin’s family. Art acts as a foil for Salahudin. Whereas they both sell drugs, Salahudin does so out of a need to save his family’s business and preserve Ama’s dream, while Art does so for selfish gain. Furthermore, when Ashlee overdoses, Salahudin checks on her and stays with Ashlee’s mother at the hospital. On the other hand, Art stays away, fearing that the police may find out he sold Ashlee drugs. Art chooses himself, while Sal chooses to do the right thing. Also, while Sal decides to stop selling drugs following Ashlee’s overdose and prepares to return his stash to Art, Art continues to deal despite seeing firsthand the damage it causes to others.